It was a classic pre-Saturn return plot line: I had experienced major tower card moments in 2021; shadow material surfaced as I realized the depth of my avoidance patterns, particularly with money and responsibility.

In 2022 and 2023, as I rebuilt and restructured my personal habits, relationships, and business ecosystem, I felt myself longing for a depth I was missing within my coaching practice. 

I vividly remember the conversation with my coach: “I’m ready for more. I want to start working with a higher caliber clientele.” 

On the surface, I meant I wanted to call in a different type of coaching client. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that awakening this desire for more—for deeper, for rock-solid integrity—was the catalyst to calling me forward to become the higher caliber. To be the higher standard. 

Becoming the Higher Standard

Becoming the higher standard allows you to naturally attract a higher caliber of opportunities, relationships, and experiences, without chasing or leaving yourself. You stand firm yet flexible in your power, worth, gifts, and human imperfections with an energetic billboard that says, “This is who I am. God, angels, Universe, send me the people and things that are an energetic match for who I am and who I am evolving into.” 

When you raise your internal standards and self-respect, that inner work gets reflected in what you see in your outer reality. 

Being the higher standard is about knowing what parts of myself to call forward, and when and how to do so. 

Decondition to Realign

First, you peel back the layers of what you’ve been taught or told to want, strive for, or achieve “in order to” be ready to receive the more that you’re craving.

Reflect on these prompts: 

• What have I been taught about success?
• How has success or achievement been modeled to me? 
• What traits or qualities were praised or celebrated when I was a child? 
• What conditions (if this, then that…) have you been operating within when it comes to calling in more of what you want? (For example, maybe you’ve been taught that in order to make more money, you need to work harder and suffer to “earn it.”)
• How do I feel about my responses to the questions above? Are there any stories, patterns, or definitions of success that I’m ready to discard or edit? 

Defining Your Higher Standard

To become the higher standard, it helps to have an idea or feeling of what that means to you. While it would be easy for me to list off “admirable” traits or qualities, we’re more interested in your unique standards and values. 

Start with a quick values brainstorm! Jot down 5-7 values that feel really alive for you. You can use this resource from Brené Brown as a jumping off point. 

For each quality or value that you’ve listed, reflect on these questions: 

• What kinds of activities might I prioritize as someone who values this?
  • For example, if you value intuition, you might prioritize daily meditation or weekly Tarot card pulls. If you value community, you might schedule in regular FaceTimes with your friends or daycare pick-ups for your nieces and nephews. 
• Who do I know that embodies this quality well? How could I weave more intentional, reciprocal time with them into my life? 

Getting Familiar with Your Energetic Signature

Embodying the higher standard is really about embodying your higher self—AKA, letting your soul or spirit merge more fully with your human body.

When we dance with both our soul and human self, remembering that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we naturally come into more resonance with our own energetic signature. 

Take a few minutes to respond to these “True Nature” prompts: 

• When I was a child, my true nature was… (e.g. playful, silly, curious, sensitive) 
• In my life, I feel most at home when I…

And these birth chart-inspired reflections:

• With my sun in (zodiac sign) in my (# house), I shine by… 
• With my moon in (zodiac sign) in my (# house), I find emotional balance and regulation through… 
• As a (zodiac sign) rising, my role in the world is to… 

When you feel at home in yourself, you cultivate an internal sense of safety that allows you to move with bold courage, rather than stay stuck in your comfort zone or hiding space. 

Activating Your Magnetism 

Embodying your energetic signature—or your true nature—lays the foundation for becoming the higher standard. From that place, you naturally attract and allow rather than seek and chase.

Let’s tap into that feeling and brainstorm some ways to work with it! 

• What does it feel like when your energy is “in demand” rather than “in pursuit”? 
• What practices, people, or beliefs make you feel magnetic or irresistible? 
• If you knew you were naturally attracting the exact opportunities that were meant for you, what kind of action would you take today? This week? This year? 
• We know that a strong magnet doesn’t just attract, it repels. What are you saying no to, in order to make more space for what’s aligned? 
• What kind of boundaries does the Higher Standard version of me practice? 

Elements of the Higher Standard

There are a few areas of life that, when tended to, have been pivotal in helping me raise my standards to attract more aligned opportunities. Take note of any that resonate for you, and get curious about how you can cultivate a deeper skillset, weave in more practice, or receive support in these areas or others. 

• Intuition – Strengthening my intuition and getting to know my psychic senses has been pivotal to my personal and business growth. With a rock-solid relationship with your intuition, you have more self-trust, confidence, and a swift inner knower who makes decisions with ease and power. 
• Astrology – Understanding the magic of you through your birth chart can help you accept yourself, work consciously with your gifts, and grow through your challenges. Working with astrology as a cheat code, not a crutch, is the real power move. Want to start? Check out CosmicRx’s Astro Academy 10-week self guided Magic of You course.
• Mental Health – Everyone’s mental health needs are so different and so important. A vital piece of raising your standards is understanding what works for you and helps you feel emotionally resourced. I highly encourage you to give this part of yourself the care and love it deserves! 
• Relationships – Everything is relational. Some of the best work I’ve done to feel more whole and at home in my life is to cultivate strong and resilient friendships, partnerships, and a marriage that can ride life’s waves with me. Without these, none of life’s blessings would feel quite as sweet! 
• Physical Wellbeing – If you have the sense that there is more vitality available to you, you owe it to yourself to pursue that. Physical wellbeing looks and feels different for everyone, and to me it has way less to do with measurements and numbers and more to do with how you take up space in the world through your physicality. How does your physical body allow you to carry out your spiritual mission (including having the Full Human Experience)?
• Business Health – If you’re a conscious entrepreneur, chances are your business is deeply connected to your purpose or higher Soul Work. When you create lots of space for your real, unmasked self in business, your evolutions and potential are truly boundless! To me, a healthy business will feel regenerative, purposeful, and satisfying. What does “business health” feel like to you? 

If you found this article helpful, send it to a friend! And come share your takeaways with me on Instagram @byaudreywhelan – I can’t wait to hear what sticks with you.

Looking for a coach who holds you to a the kind of higher standard you actually want to embody? Visit my website to learn about current coaching offerings.

Ready to lead with purpose and launch your business with power? Check out CosmicRx’s Cosmic Boss 4-month course. Next cohort starts soon. Register by May 19th.