In the Cosmic Zone: 40 Things I Have Learned About Living In It in 40 Years

Welcome to my new corner of the internet, “In the Cosmic Zone with Madi Murphy,” where I will share insights from my personal life, coaching practice, and divine downloads—all designed to help you align with your highest and hottest self.

Big milestones always have me deep in reflection so I wanted to share, in no particular order, 40 things I have learned about living “in the Cosmic Zone” over my 40 extremely blessed years here on Earth.

To begin, I should probably spend a little time explaining what the Cosmic Zone actually is.

In the simplest terms, it’s the place where you know exactly who you are, what you’re here to do, and how you’re going to do it, and you feel totally chill putting all your trust that in the process believing everything is going to work out exactly how you pictured it in divine timing.

It’s also where you become unfuckwithable. And not because you’re armored up and nobody better mess with you, but because something—some sort of Divine Power—has got your back.

When you’re in the Cosmic Zone, you feel grounded, embodied, and regulated, and like nothing and no one is going to get between you and the magic you are making. You feel present to your power and powerful in your presence.

When you’re in the Cosmic Zone, it’s like everything just flows.

Chances are you have tasted this feeling- but how do we shift it from a fleeting sensation to a sustainable way of being?

Here are 40 things I have learned about living in the Cosmic Zone:

The Cosmic Zone lies outside of our Comfort Zone. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will get the same results. Your soul wants to grow and expand, so you’re going to have to leave the sticky trap of the comfort zone, find your edge, and go into the unexplored wilderness where all of your wildest dreams and fullest potential exist!
Trust your unique timing. To live in your Cosmic Zone, you must understand that you are also operating within your own cosmic time zone. There is no one-size-fits-all timing to life milestones that you need to follow. Life is not a race or a competition. In fact, when you rush you create resistance or you end up making decisions out of feeling powerless versus feeling empowered. So, if you have been telling yourself you are “behind” in life—you are not: you are right on time. On your divine time. Let it all unfold.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to be who you are—or to reinvent yourself, for that matter. Break up with the suffocating patterns of people-pleasing and bust out of the energetic Spanx that keep you small and contained. One of the reasons I love reading people’s birth charts is that I call it the “planetary permission slip.” Your natal chart articulates your authentic purpose and affirms your potential so you can stop doubting your gifts and start using them.
Being pulled by pleasure > being pushed by pressure. Chances are you are the one putting enormous amounts of stress upon yourself. Can you be motivated by what you desire instead of what you fear? Magic happens when we actually allow ourselves to feel joy in our doing.
One of the quickest ways to waste your life—and kill your unique spirit—is by comparing yourself to others. Comparison is like taking the express lane to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, low self-esteem, and depression. It is completely natural to do so, but it is just important to catch yourself when you’re doing it and snap out of it. Let other people’s success INSPIRE you. Thank them for showing you so clearly what you desire. And then turn your energy and focus back to you, your talents, your blessings, and your dreams. No one can do this life just like you. When I say “no one is you and that is your power,” you need to believe that!
Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. There is a huge amount of liberation in being able to laugh at yourself.
Tap into the power of “I don’t know.” It is truly only when we admit we know nothing that we can tap into true wisdom. Living in the place of the “I don’t know” allows us to loosen the white-knuckle, death grip on controlling our lives to create some empty space. Magic is born from the empty space, and it is where miracles happen. In this space, I have found the Universe can bring us something wayyyy beyond our little, limited human imagination.
Reframe “why me?” to “why not me?” These simple three words have allowed me to shift out of victimhood and instead dwell in possibility. It is crazy how much we unintentionally limit ourselves when we assume others have only achieved what we want because they are “better qualified,” “more lovable,” “smarter,” “stronger,” etc. When we acknowledge we are capable and worthy, the real adventure begins.
Just because you can do it all doesn’t mean you have to do it all. This is key if you are a yes-person recovering people-pleaser who is working on saying “no”. Competence doesn’t equal obligation.
Laughter and orgasms are your magic wands of ascension. These two things create an alchemy, a complete shift in our physiology and perspective, and snap us into present moment awareness. Make them a priority if you want a more mystical Earth experience.
There are helpers everywhere. In a world that obsessively glamorizes individual strength, it has been so healing for me to remember help is necessary and shows up in many forms—both on the Earth plane and the spiritual plane. It’s up to us to ask for it- whether it be by prayer or by text- and know we were not meant to do life alone in a vacuum.
Structure can be unbelievably sexy. As a lifelong, self-proclaimed “free spirit”, freedom has always been one of my highest core values and somehow that equated me with associating concepts like time management, routine, schedule and accountability with feeling suffocated. However, once I was able to reframe structure as a form of self-love, I discovered that these things actually help create support for WAY more creativity, freedom, flow… and abundance! My cousin Kirsten put it best: “turns out it takes a lot of self-discipline to live a life of ease.”
There is always another option. So often, when we are presented with a big decision we get caught waffling between two options. When we get caught up in the black-and-white of a situation, we forget to hold space for the million shades of gray that exist in between. Great insight comes from opening your mind to many options: from the hybrids to the ridiculous. Doing a brainstorm beyond the binary usually makes me less stressed, think more clearly, and get excited about the decisions that used to feel like dilemmas.
The block is the blessing and rejection is protection. Trust me, I know it sucks to be rejected or to not have things work out as we intended, but I am SO grateful to all the people who said ‘no’ to me or the things that seemed to randomly fall through last minute. Sometimes you don’t get what you want because the Universe knows you deserve much better.
Focus on what you can control, release the rest. The only thing you are in control of is your experience of a situation and your behavior in response to it. The rest is a tremendous waste of energy.
We don’t beat ourselves up to being “better.” Shame, negative self-talk, and unrelenting criticism do not drive aligned action. The truth is that if you’re beating yourself up for something, you’re most likely going to stew in feelings of discouragement, disappointment, guilt, humiliation, and self-loathing, and these emotions keep us locked in a freeze state. Speaking unkindly to yourself will not inspire you to act like the highest version of yourself, so next time you notice yourself beating yourself up, shift the inner conversation.
Self-love is the best payback/clapback. Seeking true revenge will only slowly poison you. If somebody has wronged, betrayed, or hurt you, forget about “getting even.” The best revenge is letting go and knowing there is only one you, and you are the greatest masterpiece you will ever work on and your greatest love story. Focus on what discovering what lights your soul on fire, loving your life, and knowing you are not defined by others or your past.
What is meant for you will not miss you. Imam Al-Shafii, an 18th-century Muslim jurist, said it best: “My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me.” If ever I’m having doubts or feeling fearful about something not working out, this is the quote that gets me through and I have seen it come true time and time again. This line immediately recalibrate me to living in the place of trust, self-assuredness and alignment.
Rest. Is. Revolutionary. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is… less.
You gotta start before you’re ready. If you limit yourself to things you feel ready to do, then you’re basically only going to do things you’ve done before or things that are so easy, obvious, and simple—which is giving… comfort zone, big time. For anything worth doing, you have to take action before you feel 100% prepared. Confidence, wisdom, and experience are not prerequisites for doing the thing—they are results of doing the thing.
Trading “I have to” for “I get to” is an absolute game-changer. Whether it’s paying your bills, making the bed, or doing the self-growth work—there is an inherently bad energy to telling yourself that you “have to” do something or that you “have to” be different than you are. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, it starts feeling like one.
Often when we feel the most “stuck” is actually when we are about to burst forward from the cocoon. Just like the caterpillar who waits to turn into a butterfly, the process of metamorphosis may mean we have to wait—solitary and cramped—until we realize that it was all leading up to our big breakout moment where we get to spread our glorious, newfound wings.
Community care is just as important as self-care. We have been sold the myth of “every person for themselves,” but we are inherently interconnected and very social creatures. We weren’t meant to walk these paths alone, but to learn from and care for one another as we find better ways to live together. Sos, ee who else you can help, cheer on, or support along the way as a surefire way to tap into your Cosmic Zone.
If it costs you your peace, it’s too damn expensive. My dad taught me this expression, and, damn, if it hasn’t helped me set some much-needed boundaries. Nothing is more valuable than your inner peace.
What makes you awkward is what makes you awesome. Don’t try to dull your sparkle or sand down all your quirky or nerdy edges. Being like everyone else is so boring, and I will bet you good money that the “weird” parts of you that you have tried to shove down or suppress are the most beautiful, creative, and cosmic parts of you.
Quality over quantity, baby. This goes for clothes, friends, and lovers. Be very picky about who and what makes the cut at your table, in your closet, and in your inner circle. Choose to “have less but make it the best.”
Overthinking kills the magic. Worrying, second-guessing, and doubting yourself does nothing productive for you—in fact, it usually keeps you in a negative cycle of rumination or some form of analysis paralysis. Aligned action, self-trust, and mindfulness are all powerful ways to nourish your magic.
You can’t do epic shit with toxic people. People who are jealous, chronic complainers, or perpetual “takers” aren’t going to give anything except drama and stress. Weed these people out so your garden can grow.
Progress > perfection. Trust that the little steps will lead to big changes. Consistency and persistence are crucial because they build momentum and create lasting change, even when things feel like they are taking forever. Starting where you’re at with small, consistent actions will always be better than waiting to do it “perfectly” or giving up because you can’t do it all at once. Over time, these little steps accumulate into significant results, transforming those big, beautiful long-term goals of yours into achievable realities.
Don’t let anybody rush your magic. Yes, this can refer to the whole “trust your timing”” thing” advice again but I mean even in a moment you are always allowed to take a sacred pause. Taking a beat to tune in allows you to respond versus react and process before you speak. Don’t ever let someone else’s urgency push you to say things you can’t take back or make decisions that are out of alignment with your character.
The only one who has to believe in your vision is you. It is okay if other people question, doubt, laugh, or even ridicule you for seeing what only you can. A lot of people are uncomfortable with what they don’t understand, and as long as you are alive, there will be people who will be critical of your ideas, plans, or dreams. Don’t let this stop you. Instead, like a volume control, you need to turn down the voices of outsiders and turn UP the dial on your inner voice and stay singularly focused on what you are building and let your actions and achievements speak for themselves.
Just like the moon, you will go through phases. You are not a machine, you are not a computer. Your motivation and energy levels will wax and wane. Certain seasons of life will be about expansion, while other seasons will be about contraction. Certain days you will feel energized, other days you will exhausted. Don’t internalize it or judge yourself—instead, trust where you’re at and what your body may be telling you.
At big crossroads of change and transition, always choose faith over fear. My mom spoke this over me when I was worried about calling off my wedding during my Saturn Return and I’m so happy she did. Turns out, your brain doesn’t inherently fear change—it fears the unknown. Shifting your mindset to affirming that what’s ahead is better than what’s behind you can be pure alchemy. Or realizing it’s okay not to know how it’s all going to work out (because, duh, how boring would that be anyway???) Tell yourself: the Universe has my back, and the game of life is rigged in my favor. Okay, now that that is out of the way—what’s your next move?
When things change inside you, things change around you. Not gonna lie, the inner work you are doing might feel like it is taking forever and it’s not exactly the stuff society tends to celebrate (turns out, no Hallmark cards for setting boundaries or gift registries for when you break ancestral patterns). HOWEVER, this is how we create sustainable, aligned, and MEANINGFUL change in our outer world. It’s only a matter of time before our mood, perspective, relationships, energy, creativity, work, and daily life reflect the inner work so, rest if you need to but keep going.
It feels really good to move from the Good Girl to the Bad Bitch. Many of us are trained to prioritize others’ comfort over our own safety. We try to be polite even when our instincts are screaming to do otherwise. Feeling safe > feeling nice so permission to rock the damn boat from time to time and be okay with potentially not being “likable” if it means honoring your truth and your limits.
When you learn the lesson, the lesson will stop repeating. Feel like you’re having your own deja vu, Groundhog’s Day experience when it comes to relationships, work, finances or life in general? The sooner you can identify the pattern, the sooner you will progress past it.
Authenticity + alignment = magnetism. Want to stop chasing and really start attracting? Clearly define your values, set intentions for your life and then craft a vision that lights your soul on fire. Then do your best to only say yes to the actions, thoughts, beliefs, habits, relationships and behaviors that are in line with them and watch the magic happen.
You can rewrite your story at any moment. Words build our worlds and the stories we tell shape our everyday life. So many of us are living in a loop of negative feelings or “stuckness” because of old stories—stories that may have been spoken over us maybe since we were children or perhaps they were stories we created along the way from our limiting beliefs. Reframing your narrative to see the empowerment, resilience, and meaning in your life’s twists and turns helps you take radical responsibility for your life.
Nothing is linear, babe. This is a line I often say (so much so that one of my mentees said we need a t-shirt already). Healing, life, time, and the creative process will have loops, setbacks, stumbling blocks and sometimes it may even feel as if you’re moving backwards. These moments don’t say anything about you, and they definitely don’t make you a “failure” or a f*%! up—life is an adventure, and we are just here to be present to it all and to ourselves and see how deep we can dig into the heart space in any given moment. Also, a straight and predictable path is, like, so boring.
You are a living, breathing miracle who has so much magic to experience and medicine to share. Practice taking up space, opening your heart, and stretching out your hands to catch all the blessings life wants to give you. Remember: you are deserving of everything you dream of.

This is essentially my life philosophy shrunken down for ease of digestion (big Virgo energy!)

These truths, principles, and beliefs have helped me cultivate a growth mindset, tap into my personal Cosmic Zone and have helped me stay true to who I am. I hope it inspires you 😋

Which one resonates with you?